Throughout the centuries, married couples have been searching for ways to address the problems and difficulties that arise in a relationship. It is unpleasant and embarrassing to admit that your marriage is falling apart. However, the silver lining is that successful efforts can be made to address and repair those issues. It might take a great deal of work, and it will definitely take a shared agreement between the partners to try and fix the marriage. When one partner is adamant about separating, the job is much harder. However, with mutual agreement and a commitment to resolving the issues, even the most severe marital crisis can be resolved.
A marriage is definitely a lot of work and a commitment that knows few rivals in comparison. It isn’t uncommon for marriages to go wrong and require marriage counseling and an understanding of how to fix a marriage in order to put it back on track.
Six Steps to Fixing Your Marriage
Listed below is a six-step guide you and your partner can use to tackle the problems in your relationship and fix the marriage:
- Identify the key factors that made you fall in love in the first place. When you first met, what did you like or admire about him or her? In your eyes, how was he or she special? Sit down with your partner or by yourself and write down all of the different reasons and characteristics that caused you to fall in love in the first place. And communicate them to one another verbally or in writing. A lot of times, when a marriage grows challenging, it is easy to lose sight of these key points. Reminding yourself of them and having your partner do the same, is an effective first step to putting the marriage back on track.
- Stop talking so much and start listening. Being a good listener is a far greater skill than being a great talker. Marriages fall apart because couples stop listening to each other’s ideas, beliefs, needs, wants, issues, difficulties, goals, grievances, etc. Start listening and try to really understand the needs and concerns of your partner, and insist that they do the same.
- Try to identify the point of when it all started to go downhill and isolate the key factors that caused the marriage to begin to fall apart. It is crucial that you and your partner get to the bottom of the difficulty. This is sometimes very tough because (a) it may have been going on for a long time and (b) because you are both emotionally involved cannot be objective. In such a case, marriage coaching is the answer. But finding and addressing those issues is crucial, be it communication difficulties, infidelity, not spending enough time together, a lack of care or affection for one another, a personal crisis, etc.
- Communicate! Communication is the route to all resolution. With communication, anything can be achieved. Once you have isolated the problem, it’s time to start talking it out and communicating about it in the direction of a resolution. If your relationship has been going wrong for a while, this may be difficult, and the help of a marriage coach may be required.
- Avoid distractions. While you are working through your issues, do not let yourself or your partner get distracted by life, kids, careers, friends, hobbies, obligations, etc. Your spouse is your life partner and your marriage is a priority. So be sure to dedicate time to him or her every day and to tackle all of the above as a team.
- Find a way to start growing again as a couple. Once you have worked through your issues and come out the other side winning, you want to ensure that the same trouble does not happen again. Take trips together, commit to spend more time with each other, allot certain amount of “together time” every day, etc. to ensure that your relationship doesn’t fall apart again.
Need help with your relationship? Daphna Levy has the expertise and solutions to any marital crisis. Contact us today for more information!
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